Family and Relationships

Despite what you see in the adverts, if you look around you’ll notice that families aren’t always made up of mum, dad and two children.  Families come in all shapes and sizes.

Who do you include in your family?

How well do you get on?

Do you try to listen to each other and have respect for each other’s opinions?

Very few family groups get on perfectly all the time – some disagreement is healthy! But family relationships, like other relationships, need give and take and a bit of effort from everyone, if they’re going to work. So you have to take some responsibility too! If there are major problems in your family, there are agencies that may be able to help.

Relationships

There are different levels of relationship – the word literally means how you “relate to” another person. So that doesn’t only mean a sexual relationship, which can be heterosexual, gay, lesbian or bi-sexual partnerships, its also about a marriage or living together. It’s also about friendships, families and even workmates.   

Relationships are rarely perfect and usually involve compromise. All relationships go through rough patches. If this is what’s happening to you, it’s definitely worth making the effort to talk to each other about how you feel. Communication is really important and it’s often poor communication that makes relationships go wrong. Try to see the other person’s point of view – it may help you to understand how they feel. If you are having a lot of difficulty talking about things, you may want to go and talk to someone who’s not involved.

Living Together/Getting Married

You and your partner may decide to live together or get married. Being together all the time is very different from going out together. It can cause problems if you expect different things – for instance, sharing the cooking or housework. It’s a good idea to talk about these things beforehand and review them from time to time to see if you both still agree. If you are not married and you rent or buy somewhere to live, there will be legal implications about property.

Divorce

If your family is going through a divorce or separation it can be a really hard time for you, it will help if you can find someone to talk to about this. If you don’t want to talk to your friends contact your school nurse or try the services below if just want to talk or for further information.

Its not your fault www.itsnotyourfault.org Practical info for children, young people and parents going through a family break-up.

Childline www.childline.org.uk  0800 1111

NSPCC www.worriedneed2talk.org.uk 0808 800 5000

Who Can Help?

• The Samaritans will listen to you, whatever your problem, in confidence.

• Your school nurse can also help.

• Well Women’s Centres also offer a counselling service. Contact your GP surgery for the number of the one nearest to you.

• Relate are an agency who could also be useful if you have a relationship problem. They offer counselling to individuals or couples, including gay and lesbian couples. You will need to make an appointment for this service. 

Relate www.relate.org.uk/  relate@relatepennine.co.uk

Tel: 0845 130 4016 Will see family groups and help them to talk their problems through.

Parentline Tel:  0808 800 2222

Parentline Plus  Tel: 020 7284 5500 Work to offer help and support on parenting issues.

Stepfamily (Scotland) Tel: 0845 1228655

Will take calls from anywhere in the UK

If you have left home and want your family to know you are safe telephone the Samaritans (see General Services at the front of Youthfax) or the following services:

Message Home Helpline Tel: 0800 700 740 If you have run away or left home ring the helpline to get a safe and well message to your family or carer, or to seek confidential help and advice.

Runaway Helpline Tel: 0808 800 7070 For guidance & help for young people.

Missing Persons Helpline  Tel: 0500 700 700 (24hrs)